(A)musing

Geele kaagaz ki tarah he zindagi apni,
Koi jalaata bhi nahi aur bahaata bhi nahi
Is kadar akele hain raahon me dil ki,
Koi sataataa bhi nahi, koi manaata bhi nahi..........

Of course I didn’t compose this piece myself. I’ve tried my hand at poetry, but haven’t been successful at all. I’m not depressed either. It’s just that these lines probably get the closest to describing my state of mind in certain situations.
I began my day by getting into the college bus and waiting for it to move (it takes a while to get going, till everyone settles down). I decided to make use of the time for my leisurely, early morning philosophical thinking and began putting all my energy in trying to pry open the window – for some fresh air and of course : a glimpse of nature’s beauty. My eyes caught sight of something else instead. It wasn’t anything unusual ( not in my college premises at least), but it left me with a mixed feeling of disgust and (I don’t know what to call it) some feeling which made me want to shut the windows and suffocate to death instead ( figure of speech – I’m not going to die for something as dumb as that).

I saw a boy and a girl, a ‘couple’ as they would like to call themselves, standing in front of the canteen. (couldn’t they sit instead?). The boy was sipping coffee from a paper cup and the girl was dancing all around him. From what I could gather of their conversation, she wanted a sip of coffee from his cup ( was it because A. she couldn’t afford to buy a cup herself; or maybe B. she had paid for this one, so wanted to make sure she had a part of it? C. she wanted to check if it had been poisoned and wanted to die first? D. some reason I would never guess). I was a little confused with reason B and C, but decided to go with D instead. Maybe it was for some reason, someone like me would never guess.

I let that thought drift away from my mind and walked with great enthusiasm into the hospital. It was my first day at a new department. New posting – meant (probably) a brief introductory class and freedom. I took a vacant chair and opened my textbook, trying to read with full concentration, minding my own business. I found myself distracted by a continuous giggle and cheerful conversation. It was ‘he’ and ‘she’ of my unit, who always somehow landed up sitting next to me.(maybe they do it with the sole purpose of annoying me, I don’t know). I tried my best to ignore them amidst his loud analysis of some unimportant matter and her high pitched laughter.

After an uneventful afternoon, evening came by. I had decided to go out for an ice cream with a couple of friends to beat the heat. A step into the ice cream parlour and I knew what we were to expect. The place was teeming with a variety of couples. Some hand in hand and yet others eyes in eyes. Couldn’t these people find a more private place to engage in such activites? Or do they do it just for the sake of public display of affection to seek attention? Or are they doing it just because everyone else is doing it? yet again, I may never deduce answers to these questions.

PS : I saw the guy drinking coffee, having ice cream with some other girl in the evening.