An unforgettable treat

It was my friend’s birthday. This occasion called for a treat. The big question was, where? After a lot of fuss, arguments, this and that, we finally decided to check out a newly opened restaurant in town. Lunch in a new restaurant at somebody else’s cost has its own merits, like new and clean furniture, a working air condition system, different location and an innovative menu among many others. Amidst my friend’s repeated protests and hesitation, we somehow convinced her to treat us to lunch in this new restaurant.

It took us a while to reach this place since none of us knew where it was, nor did the rickshaw driver know of its very existence. On reaching the place finally, we gave the building one long glance and we knew, we had made the right decision. This looked like just the perfect place for a birthday treat. It was quite a long dining hall, with several tables neatly arranged, with the expected new furniture, soft music playing in the background and appropriate lighting. But in the entire hall, only one table had been occupied, by a middle aged married couple. My friend’s apprehension grew – was this place really expensive and out of our reach? Since we were a bit early and it wasn’t exactly ‘lunch time’, perhaps there were very few customers (or rather only two of them).

Before we decided where to sit, the ‘maître d'hôtel’ swiftly whisked us to the corner most table, dumped us into our respective chairs and briskly thrust a menu card each into our hands. “I’ll be back in five minutes, please make your choice” he said and breezed away with the same speed with which he had appeared. It took us a moment to get back to our senses and my friend actually started looking up the menu in a hurry, like he would send us to jail we didn’t make a choice before he was back.

Being the only vegetarian, it didn’t take me long to decide what I wanted to eat. I was my own boss and I didn’t have to make long pointless discussions like the one that happened across the table. My friends were having trouble deciding on Peshawari chicken and Lahori chicken; Singapore fried rice and Hong Kong fried rice. In the meanwhile, the waiter had made his appearance some three times and walked away in disappointment. The decision had been made, the moment finally arrived. The waiter stood with his head held high, paper and pen in hand to make a note of what we were about to order.

“Lahori chicken and Hong Kong chicken fried rice” said my friend, rather proudly on her choice. The man gave her a long, thoughtful look and said, “this weather does not suit Lahori chicken. Why don’t you try our other specialties instead?”
My friend was visibly embarrassed. At this juncture, my other friend blurted out, “Peshawari chicken, then”
The man gave another long emotionless stare and said, “ actually, we don’t have Peshawari chicken available today. But not to worry, I shall get you some of our special chicken tikka masala and plain chicken fried rice”. He jotted it down on his notepad without even asking for their approval.
He turned towards me, as I managed to stifle a giggle with great effort. “Malai kofta and naan” I said.
“Would you like sweet gravy or spicy?” he asked
“Make it very spicy”, I said
A smile broke on his face, “then you will not like malai kofta. Why don’t you have navaratan kurma instead?”
It was my friends’ turn to giggle now. But I was determined. I would not let him win the battle. “ No. Get me malai kofta. It doesn’t matter even if the gravy is sweet.”
“you like spicy food, don’t you?” he asked.
I replied in the positive.
“then I have just the right food for you. You should have our panneer tikka masala” he said, and scribbled it into his notepad. “food will be served in exactly twenty five minutes” he muttered mechanically and floated way.

The next few minutes were a silent affair. In exactly twenty five minutes, the man came with all possible tikka masalas. I wanted to splash it across his face and click a photograph of him. We didn’t have a choice, but to silently eat on.

Meanwhile, another young couple was whisked by the waiter on the table next to us. We didn’t hear what they ordered, but we could hear a familiar voice, “why don’t you try our tikka masala, its our speciality.”

We laughed so loudly, that our laughter would probably echo in the restaurant as long as it exists.